Ego separation from the Self

Dream Description

(08/10/2023)

I was finding myself driving with female friends in a Mini Cabrio through a desert towards a distant, deserted city. The sunny day filled me with joy as we neared the city gates. My friends exited and entered through a tunnel-like entrance. Inside, I spotted soldiers on horseback, their intentions unclear. I opted to return to the car, possibly for something forgotten or to fetch others. As I walked back, a horseman charged at me, causing panic. Outside the gate, a Gendarmerie officer tried to apprehend me.

In my confusion, I asked, “What are you doing?”

“Animal Cruelty!” he shouted, aiming to demean me.

No one had treated me like this before. I retreated until the soldier ceased pursuit. Outside the city, I turned towards the car and noticed another figure to my left: a soldier aiming a gun, resembling a Snipe.

“Why point your gun at me?” I questioned.

“I’m not aiming at you!” he retorted, further mocking me.

Frustrated, I glimpsed something on the car’s back seat. A weapon? Yes! A Shotgun, mine.

As I stared at it, I realized escape seemed unlikely. Should I grab the gun or speed away in the car? Before deciding, I woke up.

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Dream Interpretation 

I had this dream the night after Hamas attacked Israel. I want to clarify that I don’t believe the dream was directly connected to the attack. On a beautiful Saturday in Italy, completely unaware of the unfolding events, it was only through this dream that I sensed something troubling had begun, something with potential global impact. The dream seemed to prepare me psychologically for future challenges, or perhaps it held a personal lesson I needed to learn.

The opening scene of the dream resonated deeply with me: driving through the desert with my female friends. Exploring my dreams has introduced me to women who have become pivotal in my journey of Anima healing. Interestingly, these women were initially just colleagues I knew casually. Our bond deepened as I shared dreams about them, discovering profound connections in our psyches that transcended conscious awareness (I’ll delve into these connections further).

In symbolic terms, driving through the desert signifies purity, self-awareness, solitude, and the search for meaning. Arriving at an abandoned city, a symbol Jung associated with our inner world— discovered through dream work, meditation, active imagination, and observing synchronicities— prompted me to reflect deeply.

Reflecting on this dream, questions surfaced. What barrier prevented me from reaching my inner world, my true Self? Why did soldiers stop me at the gate instead of my female friends? Did this suggest a necessary “next stage” after my Anima transformation to fully integrate into my psyche and access my true Self? Wait—when I say “I,” who exactly am I referring to?

According to Jungian psychology, “I” aligns with the Ego, the center of consciousness that organizes thoughts, intuitions, and memories. In the dream, the person driving the car symbolizes my Ego, accompanied by my female friends who embody the powerful, guiding feminine energy of the Anima, crucial in navigating the desert of the subconscious.

Later in the dream, my Ego, having previously confronted the Shadow, faces humiliation at the city gate. Faced with a choice—to retaliate with a shotgun or drive away—I revisited this scene through Active Imagination. Voices echoed within:

Shadow: “Pick up the gun! Show them the other side!”

Ego: “How dare they insult me like this!”

Anima: “Wait! Are you both out of your minds?”

Shadow: “This is a man’s business, Anima!”

Anima: “Don’t dismiss me, Shadow! I guide the Ego.”

Ego: “Anima’s right. She deserves a voice.”

Anima: “More than a voice—KISS!”

Shadow: “I must protect us!”

Ego: “I believe in your strength, Shadow.”

Anima: “Let’s consider alternatives.”

Shadow: “What alternatives? They threaten us!”

Anima: “How can you be so sure? They have families too.”

Ego: “Hmm…”

Anima: “What do you think, my Ego?”

Ego: “Perhaps ‘I’ am the issue here.”

Anima: “You’re my shining star, Ego.”

Self: “Yes, Ego, you’re essential to us.”

Ego: “Self, is that you?”

Self: “Yes, our collective voice.”

Ego: “So you orchestrated their treatment of me?”

Self: “To remind you, despite being our star, you aren’t the ‘Self’.”

Ego: “I understand. And the humiliations?”

Self: “Ignore small slights; involving the Shadow risks our unity.”

Shadow: “Finally, recognition!”

Anima: “Come on, Shadow. Hit the gym, stay fit!”

Shadow: “Haha…”

Self: “Ego, if they wanted you gone, you would be. Their provocation invites response. Consult Anima before acting.”

“the experience of the Self is always a defeat for the ego.”

C.G. Jung

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